Ascension Of Elijah 2 Kings 2 1-13

The departure of Elijah in the bible tells the story of the sons of prophets coming to collect Elijah. They give him a few hours to pack and bring his daughter to the going away party. When they arrived at the departure gate a flaming chariot with horses of fire sucked Elijah up in a whirlwind, naked as a J-Bird.

When we look at this story absent of a religious lens, we could easily offer the alternate theory of alien abudction by a UFO.

Ezekiel Beam me up/down Scotty 3 12-16

The lord fed Ezekiel a delicious sushie scroll and told him to go talk some sense into those cantankerous Israelites. Ezekiel was then surrounded by a loud rumbling sound and teleported to a brief encounter with God on his flying throne. After a short layover, he was teleported against his will to another city. He sat there pissed off for a week then god told him to teach the fine people of Israel the words to kumbaya and make nice with each other.

The same message has carried on. Many modern day abductees tell of alien messages instructing kindness for humanity.

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